Sunday, September 03, 2006

Nasik Lemak 5 Posen

Nasik lemak mak aku memang sedap. Yang aku maksudkan 'nasik lemak' kat sinik ialah nasik lemak lah. Bukannya nasik lemak 2 bungkus yang perempuan dewasa ada tu. Ada yang singgit, ada yang 2 ringgit setengah. Ada yang makan tak abis. Yang kuih koci pun ada gak. Bergantung kepada genetiklah. Aku ni cakap macam Dr Ismail Thamby la pulak. Don't worry.. size doesn't matter (dengan hipokritnya aku cakap).

Berbalik kepada cerita nasik lemak. Ehh.. kenapa ejaan nasik ialah NASI tapi kita sebut 'nasik'? Tapi kalau perkataan yang lain yang hujungnya huruf 'I' takde pulak kita tambah huruf 'K' kat hujung? Mari kita buat beberapa ayat tentang perkataan-perkataan tersebut:

Harik inik Alik pergik kedaik nasik naik lorik. Adak babik menarik-narik sambil makan rotik. Alik panik, laluk langgark larik babik sampaik babik tuk matik. Hik hik hik hik.

Berbalik kepada cerita nasik lemak. Kena tulis dalam perenggan lain, kalau tak nanti ceita lain pulak yang keluar. Tekan "ENTER <--" 2 kali.

Mak aku buat nasik lemak untuk berniaga macam buat nasik lemak untuk keluarga. Santannya cukup, sambalnya sedap, telurnya telur ayam, timunnya kaler green dan lain-lain lagi. Bungkus pulak pakai daun pisang. Daun pisang tu siap layurkan dulu atas api supaya tidak ada bakteria atas daun tu yang berjangkit kat nasik. Tak pernah aku beli nasik lemak kat orang, daun pisang tu cantik je berkilat. Paling kuat pun, tokeh nasik lemak tu lap-lap je dengan kain buruk yang buruk macam muka dia.

Aktiviti membuat nasik lemak bermula sejak petang lagi. Aku yang kena pergi kedai beli barang-barang. Lepas tu kena tolong gunting cili kering dan ramas-ramas cili tu macam ramas 'nasik lemak' supaya biji cili kering terpisah dengan badan cili kering. Lepas tu aku pun boleh la tengok tv supaya nasik lemaknya sedap dimakan.

Waktu malam pulak abah layurkan daun pisang dan potong-potong untuk ready sebagai pembungkus. Sambal pun masak malam tu jugak. Telur pun rebus malam tu jugak. Esoknya pagi-pagi lagi sebelum subuh, Mak dah bangun utk masak nasik lemak. Lepas subuh, Abah bungkus nasik lemak. Abah taruk nasik lemak tu sebungkus macam 2 bungkus. Siap padat-padatkan lagi. memang kenyang betul makan sebungkus. Kalau makan pagi, malam baru rasa lapar. Selalunya sehari Abah akan bawak dalam 40-50 bungkus nasik lemak ke opis. Mihun/Mi/Kuetiau goreng pulak dalam 20 bungkus. Kuih satu jenis je. Satu hari lepat pisang, satu hari kuih kaswi, satu hari kuih talam, satu hari karipap, satu hari kuih gulung/ketayap, satu hari kuih apam manis Velvet.

Kuihnya besar-besar. Kalau lepat pisang tu, size yang boleh jual 60 sen sebijik la zaman sekarang ni. Karipap intinya nak padat-padat. Bukan macam sekarang ni, karipap besar, isik dalam 50% angin je. Abah cakap, nanti kalau buat tak padat, customer goncang-goncang karipap tu dan perli 'karipap angin' ke ni? (Mak engkau punya 'karipap' la karipap angin).

Abah jual nasik lemak dan mihun goreng 50 sen je. Tapi aku rasa kos pembuatan mau sampai 40 sen seunit sebab nak jaga qualiti. Kuih pulak 20 sen je satu. Tapi aku rasa kos pembuatan dalam 15 sen seunit. Tak berbaloi beb. Nak membuatnya penat. Dah la tu! Nak beli nasik lemak 50 sen pun nak hutang ke????? Helloo.. customer abah ialah pegawai-pegawai dan menejer-menejer Bank Negara Malaysia tau. Bukan operator kilang yang dah nak tutup. Pelik betul aku.

Bagi aku, Abah tak sesuai berniaga makanan ni. Macam nak belanja orang makan je. Tak berbaloi. Belum kira penat meredah belukar untuk ambik daun pisang lagi. Sepatutnya berniaga makanan ni, untung bersih mesti boleh dapat sekurang-kurangnya 50%. Bukan aku cakap tak payah jaga quality, tetapi dengan quality itu sepatutnya harga jualan pun tinggi la sikit. Kalau Jeans LEVIS tu jual harga macam Jeans LIVES, bankrupt la. Sama jugak antara dunhill dengan bunhill, Adidas dengan Abibas dan sebagainya. Itu pasal la Mak pun macam malas je nak tolong Abah buat nasik lemak. Kadang-kadang terjadi jugak la pertengkaran yang menyakitkan telinga. Lagi satu kelemahan Abah ialah dari segi cashflow control. Aku rasa dia tak tau pun kos pembuatan seunit produk dia. Yang dia tau, jual nasik lemak 50 sen, kuih 20 sen.

Aku ingat aaa, kalau Abah berhenti kerja masa tu, dan Istiqomah jual nasik lemak dengan dibantu oleh Mak, dengan financial managemnet yang cekap, Abah dah jadi Jutawan Senyap dah 10 tahun lepas. Siap-siap boleh dapat pangkat Dato'. Oleh sebab nama Abah aku ialah Ibrahim, orang akan panggil dia Dato' I. Boleh la kahwin dengan penyanyi nombor satu negara pada masa tu iaitu Ramlah Ram. Tak pun Zaiton Sameon. Zaiton Sameon masa tu seksi giller ooo. Menyanyi dalam sungai kat bawah jambatan pakai skirt pendek je. Lintah masuk kat dalam 'tuutt' baru tau! Aku pun boleh la jadi anak jutawan dan melakukan gejala sosial. Ha ha ha ha..

Nasik lemak buah bidara,
Daun selasih hamba lurutkan,
Berniaga nasik lemak tak buat kira-kira,
Untung bersih dapat sikit je la kan?

So, tugas korang pulak: Cuba kira berapa kali aku tulis perkataan 'nasik' dalam entry ni.

20 comments:

Ordinary Superhero said...

LOL, koreh porot den golakk. Kau memang kelaka jang!

Uda said...

34 kot... botoi jang...?

Uda said...

34 kot... botoi jang...?

Uda said...

34 kot... botoi jang...?

Uda said...

34 kot... botoi jang...?

Tenno Miyake said...

Uda.. oghang tak nyobut botoi doh.. botoi tu bunyi eh cam nyobut botol dalam loghat utagho. Bughok bona bunyi eh.

Orang N9 sebut "BOTO tak jang?"

Actually bukan 34.

Perkataan "nasik" dalam post (termasuk yang dalam title dan soalan yang diajukan) hanya berjumlah 30.

Tak caya cuba find "nasik" satu2 sampai habis posting. Sure 30 punya.

Taiko, apsal ko asyik sebut pasal size je dari dulu sampai sekarang.. ada complain from the wife kah? hehehe..

terabot said...

kui kui kui, boto, boto den sokong....hehehe...ni citer 18sx..camnelak kuih koci dgn nasi lemak tak abis makan, ko biar boto taiko....

booGie said...

ada baaaaaaanyak nasik ko sebut

13may said...

kat mana aku boleh beli barang BUNHILL....huahuahua...first time aku dengaq nih...

edyan7 said...

Assalamualaikum,

interesting... nak kena link nih! boleh?

ginamarna said...

hehe lawok arr..ade iras2 citer ambe ser kecik2 luh :p

shahril aley said...

hazril best gile la baca ko punye catatan sejarah skali dengan lawak bodoh secara tak langsung....aku nak link la ko punye blog ni ;)

adekmanis said...

taiko.. aku rasa ada la orang cakap cam ko quote tu.. tak silap akuk orang asli cakap camtu..

kehkehkeh.. bunhill.. lawak lawak..

bad man said...

Know what malay pig? A suck babi hutan pendatang from Indonesia, pencuri of Tanah Orang Asli, should be caught by all the Chinese whom you have insulted.

They will then pack you in a pig basket, parade you round Chinatown in KL, to let the Chinese pelt rotten eggs, throw shit and pour all the pig shit from the nearby pig farms on your head.

Then let them take you out of your pig basket and roast you over an extremely hot fire until you become barbecued pork. After that chop your stinking carcass and leave it in the streets of rural for all those vultures and crows to feed on. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Why only malays? You think this country is yours alone? What has the government really done for the pri-bumis and the Orang Asli? Look at how Umno has screwed up Sabah Indonesians and Filipino getting citizenship and enjoying the same benefits as you the moment they hop off the boat!

You go ask the government to stop all that then I will stop thinking you are speaking through your ass hole.

Podah! You are nothing but a chauvinist pig like the rest.

It seems like Malaysia is still not ready for globalisation because of a bunch of anti-social racist moron like you. Our country already independent for so many donkeys years but sorry to see still got such shortsighted moron like you.

Bangsa melayu failed in the past 30 years with lots of help from Umno but still failed! Then they blame the Chinese cheat la, marginalise them la, this la that la……….so much excuses! If you are pariah, forever you are pariah!

If you malay race lazy, no matter how much with the government help, it will back to square.

For me, I just speak up what I had observed and not like the malay race who is always jealous about other race success. Bad hearted.

What the hell you ask all the Chinese to get out from Malaysia in your comment post? It is proven you are another racist moron bastard!

Malay failure is the fact! It has been happened since 30 years ago and not just now. If you keep on denying it proven again you are just another loser or hypocrite!

Truth - what is so proud of asking non-malays to be like your kind of robbers, liars, cheaters in Malaysia? Kaum tongkat yang langsung tak tahu malu! Yes, you motherf***ker are stupid, lazy, fanatic, thus you need tongkat forever! Dick head!

Kaum tongkat still can survive in most of the zoos overseas. See the UPM red short "Orang Utan". At least they could be the laugh stock to this world.

If malays with 50% population in Malaysia non of them success, then I reckon you jump to the sea. That so!

Once again, with you racist pig moron, Malaysia wouldn't go far as far as globalization is all about!

You are truly one of those Umno babi hutan with shit plastered all over your brain and fulfilling Hang Tuah policy in reverse! With babi hutan like you whose brains are filled with tahi babi - it would be melayu akan hilang di dunia!

coolooc said...

You stinking malay pig, please get the fxxx back to your own land in Aceh or Jawa, whatever. Because this is Tanah Orang Asli and malay pig like you are pendatang!

To someone……….time and time again we have said that the malays are from Jawa. I always say that they are from Aceh, Sumatra, etc - do you see anyone of these racists (obviously malays) objecting to that fact?

This is the truth and they cannot handle this. They don't dare say that because it is so true! Even Mahathir admitted recently - the origins of the malays are not Malaysia but Indonesia - Sumatra and island etc.

The real bumis are the natives of Borneo and the Orang Asli. Not these malay free loaders and wasted sperms.

"Son of the soil" incorrect! More appropriate term would be "Rapist of the soil"! Malays are pendatang, they called Chinese and Indians pendatang! Tak malu!

To malays pendatang from Indonesia, you are also enemy to Indonesia, stupid! Apa? Tak faham English? Makan tahi dan berambus balik ke Jawa! Setia kepada negara Indonesia! So are you, malay pig!

Aren't you a bloody hypocrite? You are not the Orang Asli of this country - you are an immigrant from Jawa, Sulawesi, all elsewhere - why did you come here to this country then?

Why not help your own country (or should I say your dilapidated kampung in Jawa) and improve the situation then? What……….what did you say? Oh you want a better life is it? I see - so what does that make you? A patriotic fake? Or a hypocrite with no substance?

Compare China and Indonesia - then tell me who is faring better in the international stage. You useless malay pig. At the end of the day - you work for me.

Obviously, you are worse than shit. Not pigs, for pigs are really smart animals. Tanah Melayu my ass! Orang Asli were here before your ancestors crept onto this land. Learn some history, ok? Of course, you can always change history! Tak malu kah!

You are sick in the brain, thanks to Mahathir!

Chinese got pissed off as not all Chinese are rich, but all work their asses off to make an honest living, while idiots like you think that you are entitled to riches without sweating. What discontent? After all these years all the handouts, you still couldn't get your acts together, and you want to blame others, the Chinese, the Indians? Where is your dignity?

What anger? You get angry at the Olympics because malays can't run faster than the Americans? The Aussies? The Chinese? (Just imagine some of you jokers made it to the Olympics, although none did!)

If you want to run amok, go ahead, join the apes and chimpanzees, your kind have been doing that at UPM, brainless monkeys they are, and so are you, go flock together.

The reason why malays tend to run "amok" is because of close relative breeding. Just like non-high breed dogs - brother have sex with the mother, and father marry their own sister, and the confusion goes on.

The end result is non-high breed dogs - that are difficult to train and tend to even bite their own master. Unlike the Chinese, they are very careful not to have too close relative marrying one another.

That is why you can see how Chinese excel in different part of the world. The Chinese are indeed a world race now, as China progress with such speed which is unknown off in any other race in the world!

Singapore is a fine example of Chinese superiority! Sad news for the malay race but then again it is the truth!

(Malay extremists racists are going to call you pendatang etc, even hang you upside down by your balls, for socking them in the balls where it hurts most, like you did.

But you have been brave in telling them the truth about the dark side of their race which explains why they are so backward. God be with you……….)

Rich and successful Chinese don't owe you a thing. Not so successful Chinese are working honestly to make ends meet. So, you either work, or go get fed in the ass by Mahathir, ok? He won't charge you for the ecstasy and the service you may receive.

You are nothing but scum. You give fellow malays a bad name. You make your parents lose face. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A good-for-nothing idiot! That is all there is in you.

You are a babi hutan from either the jungle of Jawa or Sumatra. All you Umno malay pig are in fact pendatang to this Tanah Orang Asli. So get the fxxx out of my country!

run away said...

They came in Tanah Melayu……….You mean Tanah Orang Asli, you Jawanese pirate descendent came in!

Perhaps that is what we should give these ungrateful leeches like malay pig ultra:

Non-malay businesses should just pack up and leave, taking with them their capitals and investments. Non-malays with the means should emigrate.

Then these sick brain malay pig morons not only can keep their 30%, they can have 100%……….of nothing.

And we sit back and watch them implode under the heavy load of their bureaucracy, crutches and religious fundamentalism.

As for implosions, that is the only way malays are going to head if they don't pull their heads out of the sand soon. The world doesn't owe you jack shit, and very soon reality will catch up with the lot of you. You can either embrace reality or perish by it.

As a non-malay and proud of it, I am ashamed to associate myself with hypocrites like you and your followers. I chose to leave the land of my birth because of people like you and guess what! No regrets whatsoever. Best decision I have ever made.

There is no reason for malay pig to be poor unless they are ass lazy or mental deformed or real stupid..........pick your choice.

passerby said...

uih! spammer! Go get a life la!!
--
ps: Taiko, mana ade babik makan rotik? heh!

Taiko said...

heh heh.. ini lah akibatnya kalau budak-budak guna internet tanpa pengawasan mak bapak. Otak macam budak umur 7 tahun.

dah.. budak-budak jangan dilayan. lagi dilayan, lagi menjadi.

Anonymous said...

ko buat apa pulak kali ni taiko? tiba2 banyak pulak 'sampah' kat sini

Anonymous said...

taiko,

apa sudah jadi dgn blog ko ni? semacam je aku baca komen2 ni.